


chronosaurus

by cherryjaem



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multiple Endings, Multiple Universes, Time Travel, chan/lee know/han but the fic is mostly chan-centric, trigger warning: major character death in some of the universes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-05 13:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18367064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryjaem/pseuds/cherryjaem
Summary: Chan learns that in a different time, different universe, they don't have to suffer over the loss of Jisung.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> i'm nervous. this fic is crazy and messy but i wanna give it a try, and i hope you will give it a chance too.  
> the title is so unoriginal, i know. haha. inspired by skz's chronosaurus (both song and mv(?) teaser). 
> 
> a quick shout-out to N for going through the plot and suffering with me hahah. thank you always for supporting me and my crazy fic ideas, for the hand-holding while writing the said fics, for being an amazing friend in general. this one is for you.

Chan feels the sweat trickling down the sides of his face as he heaves for breaths, eyes staring angrily at the entrance of the dark, abandoned tunnel ahead of him. In the distance, the sun is setting in and casting long shadows of the trees around him. Something warm drips from his nose and Chan wipes it off with the back of his hand, seeing the red tainting the pale skin. He knows he’s already at his limits, is aware that he might end up like Kelsey, but no. He refuses to stop now. He refuses to stop and go back to his miserable self drowning in sadness, hate and regrets and what if, what if,  _ what if _ ? He’s going to keep travelling back to that time, to  _ that _ day over and over and over again until he manages to save Jisung, even if it means he has to sacrifice his own life for that to happen.

 

So Chan takes a deep breath in and out, eyes narrowed in determination before he runs and runs towards the darkness of the tunnel and watches as everything around him melts away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung's been gone for a while but Chan and Minho still think about him.

“Is he fine out there somewhere?” Minho asks, eyes squinting out into the distance, focusing but unseeing at the same time. The breeze is making a tiny mess on his light brown hair, but he’s still beautiful. Chan has always thought Minho is beautiful.

 

“Who?” Chan asks eventually, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket to shelter them from the cool breeze. It’s dark and quiet up on the hill overlooking the city, but it’s a majestic sight with the moon shining bright and full above of them, the city nothing but lighted dots of colorful lights. It’s peaceful out here, with just the two of them present- no sounds of crazy traffic interrupting their moment.

 

Minho doesn’t answer Chan’s question immediately. Chan doesn’t even know if Minho’s going to answer at all, but that’s okay with him because Chan’s not really expecting one from the younger guy. Minho has a knack for speaking his thoughts out loud, sometimes without intending for other people to hear them, so Chan’s learned to let it go when Minho doesn’t elaborate more on what’s playing in his head.

 

Chan fishes out a lighter and stick of cigarette from his pocket, putting it in between his lips as he works on producing flame with the lighter but he’s stopped short at Minho saying “Jisung. Do you think he’s fine somewhere out there?”

 

Chan flickers his eyes at Minho- the pretty Minho with a thoughtful but distant look on his face, the wonder and longing and regrets swirling in his eyes. Slowly, Chan removes the cigarette from his mouth and presses his lips into a thin line. Now, Chan doesn’t know how to answer _this_ , because Jisung is no longer with them- hasn’t been for a while now, and he _knows_ Minho knows this as well, so why-?

 

Getting no answer from Chan, Minho finally turns to look at him.

 

“Chan?” he says. Chan shakes his head to regain his mind back and swallows thickly, his eyes avoiding Minho’s.

 

“I don’t know,” Chan murmurs because how else is he supposed to answer that when Jisung is already-

 

“I know he’s dead,” Minho says as if he knows what Chan’s thinking about, surprising the older guy by how calm and casual he sounds even though there’s sadness in his eyes and in the way his lips curled into a small smile. “But what if he isn’t?”

 

Chan can’t muster any more than a whispered: “What do you mean?”

 

“What if he’s still alive somewhere out there; in a different time or in a parallel universe?”

 

“Minho…”

 

Minho chuckles and shakes his head, looking away. “Sorry. It’s crazy. I know.”

 

Then Minho turns silent again. He steals Chan’s cigarette with a playful grin but the look in his eyes holds the same empty and distant light. Chan only stares as the younger lights up the cigarette and inhales a large gulp of smoke before releasing it into the air.

 

It’s definitely crazy, Chan thinks to himself. But not impossible. Jisung was alive in the past, is _still_ alive in that timeline. Jisung could be alive in different universes, too. It’s a comforting thought, but also saddening because in _this_ universe, in _this_ time, Jisung is nothing but just a memory now.

 

~*~

 

Chan still dreams of Kelsey sometimes, and it’s always the same dream.

 

It’s a memory, to be specific, of when Chan was only 5 and Kelsey 17. Most of the details are blurry, but Chan remembers Kelsey holding his tiny hands in her more larger ones, remembers her bright smile and the dimples on her left cheek and the crescent of her eyes as she spins him round and round and round. _I’ll show you something cool_ , she’d say, kneeling down in front of Chan and closing his eyes with her hand. There had been a rustle of wind, and even though it was afternoon at their backyard where they went out to play, when Kelsey removed her hand from Chan’s eyes, the day was darker and the field was vast with no end in sight, and the sky was filled with so many twinkling stars.

 

“How’d you do that Kelsey?” Chan had asked. Kelsey gave him a secretive smile and a boop on his nose.

 

“Magic.”

 

Chan would always wake up right after, quietly, peacefully, but the emptiness in his heart is loud and painful because just like Jisung, Kelsey had been gone from Chan’s life for a while now but only much, _much_ longer.

 

“Where are you, Kelsey?” Chan whispers to the darkness of his room and is always greeted back by the silence.

 

~*~

 

Minho still has dreams of Jisung. Chan knows this because he still wakes up late at nights or early in the mornings to Minho’s muffled sobs and the younger’s body slightly shaking from crying.

 

Tonight, Chan wakes up to this exact situation.

 

Minho’s had this dream frequently enough for Chan to understand what’s going on and immediately wraps his arm around Minho’s waist and pulls Minho’s back closer against his chest.

 

“Bad dream?” Chan asks, his voice croaky from sleep. Minho sniffles but doesn’t answer, _but_ he lets himself melt against Chan’s chest and accepts the comfort Chan’s giving him. A small smile spreads on Chan’s lips at this and he presses a lazy kiss on Minho’s shoulder. “Shh. It’s okay.”

 

However, his grip on Minho tightens when the younger’s body tenses up and he sobs a quiet “It’s not.” back at Chan, seemingly triggering a new wave of tears. “It’s really not, Channie. Jisung-. We loved Jisung and he-. He died thinking that we didn’t.”

 

Chan feels the lingering sleepiness leaves him entirely, the familiar sense of dread, sadness and regret spreading in his chest. Truth be told, Chan still dreams of Jisung, too, but it’s not as pleasant as his dreams of Kelsey, because this one is filled with Chan’s last moments with Jisung. He knows Minho has the same exact dream. They’d hear Jisung’s scream in these dreams, see the sadness and disappointment on his face, the angry tears in his eyes and his body shaking with frustration. _I am done with your games,_ he’d say. _I am done with you_.

 

And then Jisung would turn and run away, and Chan should have chased after him but he didn’t and that right there is his biggest regret, amongst all of the other regrets he has when it comes to Jisung.

 

“We should have stopped him from leaving,” Minho whispers. Chan swallows hard and closes his eyes when he feels the tears gathering.

 

“I know,” Chan whispers back. Chan is sorry and Chan is guilty, and really, he knows he should have stopped Jisung from leaving, should have told Jisung the truth, should have told Jisung that they did love him, but-

 

“But we didn’t…”

 

“We didn’t,” Chan echoes. _They didn’t. They had only watched Jisung leave._ He lets the tears wet the pillow underneath his head.

 

“It’s our fault, isn’t it,” Minho states instead of questioning, because they both know it is.


	3. Chapter 3

Chan thinks about it, more often than not, about how things would be if he’d been sure of his feelings back then, if he hadn’t hurt Jisung, if he had called Jisung’s name and stopped him from leaving. Maybe Jisung didn’t have to die then, maybe all the three of them would be happy together instead of one of them ending up dead while the other two regretting and clinging onto the past like this, obsessing over  _ what should have _ s and  _ what could have been _ s.

 

Thoughts like these always triggers a major headache in a way or another, and Chan has to take medications for it. Today is just one of those days. Ever since that night when Minho last had a dream about Jisung (that was a week ago), Chan finds himself thinking more and more about Jisung- at least more than he usually does, and as a result, the headaches are getting frequent as well.

 

“Fuck,” Chan stumbles to the bathroom where his medication is, hand pressed on the side of his throbbing head. The headache is unusual this time in the way that he’s seeing vivid images flashing in his head, and then-

 

And then, it happens like this:

 

Chan sees an image- a  _ memory _ of a place from his childhood, and then he shuts his eyes closed to get rid of the dizzying feeling. But instead, he feels wind against his face and when he falls on the ground, it’s not to the cold tiles of his bathroom floor, but to the feeling of wet grasses underneath his fingertips.

 

It’s confusing and alarming enough that Chan snaps his eyes open immediately and gets on his feet, feeling even more confused to find himself at the place he saw in his head just seconds ago- their backyard from their old house in Sydney. Did he fall down, hit his head and lose consciousness? Is that it? That must be it-

 

Chan quickly turns around when he hears a door closing shut and footsteps approaching him from behind, eyes widening at the sight in front of him. The girl stops in her tracks a few meters away from Chan, looking up at him because she’s a whole 1 foot shorter than Chan it seems, her head tilted to the side in wonder.

 

“Who are you?” she asks but Chan only manages a shaky: “Kelsey?”

 

Kelsey raises her eyebrows in surprise, and the confusion on her face quickly turns into delight when she finally recognizes who Chan is. “Chris?” she gawks in disbelief but there’s mirth in the crinkles of her eyes when she grins and runs to wrap her arms around Chan. “Chris!” she says again.

 

“How’d you get so big? Did you-,” her question halts mid-sentence when she pushes away to look at Chan. “Oh Chris, what’s wrong?”

 

“Kelsey, you- you’ve been missing for  _ 18 years _ ,” Chan’s voice breaks towards the end. When Chan blinks, he feels tears trickling down his cheeks. He can’t believe he’s seeing his sister again, feeling her in his arms like this. She’s so real and so alive and it’s almost funny how tiny she is compared to him now when Chan used to be smaller and thought his sister was a giant.

 

“ _ What? _ ” Chan sees the way hers are slowly filled with shock and confusion but Chan wasn’t expecting her to say “Oh.  _ Oh _ , no, no. I’m so sorry.” of all things, pulling Chan back into her embrace. “I’m so sorry, Chris.”

 

“Where’d you go?” Chan asks, openly crying now as he hugs her tight.

 

“I don’t know _ yet _ , bub,” Kelsey whispers. “I’m still here right now. But whatever happened- or about to happen- please know it is not my intention to leave you.”

 

“I-,” Chan starts, but they’re interrupted by a small voice calling “Kelsey?” Chan’s breath hitches when he sees himself- a 5 year old version of himself standing at the back door of the house, wide apprehensive eyes looking at them. “Who is that…?”

 

Kelsey lets Chan go to turn and give kid-Chan an assuring smile. “No one, bub. It’s just a friend from school. Go wait for me inside.” Kid-Chan nods his head at her and scurries back inside, letting the door bang behind him. Then to present-Chan, she says “It’ll be okay. Go back.”

 

“I- I don’t know what’s going on, Kelsey. Am I dreaming…?”

 

“You’re not but I promise that I will tell you the next time you come to visit me,” Kelsey smiles as she cups Chan’s face with her hands. Chan feels dizzy again and he could have sworn everything around him starts to melt away. “It’s okay, bub. Come see me again!” is the last thing Chan hears before the warm hands are gone from his cheeks and he falls down on the cool tiles of his bathroom floor.

 

“Chan? What is- shit! Are you okay?” Minho is quick to get down on Chan’s side and holds him in his arms. “What happened? Is it the migraine again?”

 

Chan shivers and closes his eyes because he doesn’t know what just happened. He feels disoriented, but the throbbing in his head has stopped, leaving only a dull ache behind.

 

“Do you need to see a doctor?” Chan registers the panic and worry in Minho’s voice.

 

“I’m fine,” Chan says, grabbing the front of Minho’s shirt tightly and snuggling closer because Minho’s warmth and familiar scent are slowly calming him down from whatever that was he had just experienced.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah,” Chan says softly. “Just. Stay like this for a little while.”

  
“Okay,” Minho easily agrees, holding Chan against his chest protectively, like he’s scared Chan would slip away. Chan wants to assure Minho that he won’t, that he’ll be here  _ always _ , but the exhaustion crashes on him in a sudden wave and Chan’s too tired to do or say anything, so he remains quiet. “Okay,” Minho’s whisper bounces off the wall of their bathroom, and they stay there until the sun sets and light fades out from the room


End file.
